短篇英語笑話故事

　　英語笑話能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面，因為笑話是源于人們的生活的。下面是小編分享給大家的短篇英語笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助。

　　短篇英語笑話故事：Sherlock Homes

　　Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

　　After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

　　Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

　　"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

　　Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

　　"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute.

　　"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

　　Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

　　Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

　　Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

　　Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

　　"What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

　　"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"

　　短篇英語笑話故事：What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　是哪兩個詞?

　　一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的.孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?

　　噢，當然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個詞?

　　短篇英語笑話故事：Synonym=Bad Language

　　One day a ten-year-old child asked his mother, "Mom, what is a synonym(同義詞) ?"

　　"What? You even don't know what a synonym is? How foolish you are. When I describe you as foolish, I mean you're silly, stupid. Now you know what a synonym is ?"

　　"Yes, a synonym is using bad language." The child concluded.

　　短篇英語笑話故事：what do I get 我能得到什么

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，我能得到幾塊兒?

　　湯米：四塊。

　　老師：那我要是再切兩次，我能得到什么呢?

　　湯米：漢堡。

　　短篇英語笑話故事：Persistance 纏住不放

　　Returning from a golf outing(遠足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?

　　Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答復) . We just play to have fun.

　　Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?

　　丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?

　　我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。

　　莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?

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